apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
is wine microwaveable?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
