I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
