Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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