Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
