haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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