I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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