the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
