shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Alive.
So much puke
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize