We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
