I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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