I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
there is puke in my bra ... again
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