he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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