He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i dont even know how to be here
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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