you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
