since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
