I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize