nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
