Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
