she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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