I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
