I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
