U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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