i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
