You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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