TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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