Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I would fuck him just for his dog
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
