At least make sure they are 18
Why
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize