Betty ford says i'm here all night
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
