I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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