I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
