I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
