Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
