Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We left the knife in your bed.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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