Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
