Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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