And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
