also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
