he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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