Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
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