After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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