Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
should my penis look like a turkey
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
