walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize