it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just had sex bonerless
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
