it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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