I hate all girls vehemently.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
