Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I think my moral compass just broke
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