if only i could text you this smell
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
