Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
