Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
