any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
