My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
