Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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