I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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