Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize