I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
