god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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