Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
