I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
