Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
