dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize