Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize