I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
