Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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