Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
